I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
