She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
