My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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