You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
