We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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