i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
