I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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