Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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