dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
