Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
