i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
