Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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