your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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