im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
