thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
