PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
