carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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