She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
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