I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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