Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
