Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
