we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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