Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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