So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
