"it" just moved
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
