what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think my vagina is haunted
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
