She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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