Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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