Are we in a gay sports bar?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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