ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
