hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize