Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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