I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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