Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
