We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
