he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
