This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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