I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
