tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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