I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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