and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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