You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
sex in a hospital.. check
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
