are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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