my vag is so smooth its legendary
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
