I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
