just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
