His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
