just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
