Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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