ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
