I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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