watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
