you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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