got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
