I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
