Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
