shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
