Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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