wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
