Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
