make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
