How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
