Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
