I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
